Us and them: accepting people with special needs

SELF-HELP by Fathmath Ibrahim (Iko*) Who is "us" and who is "them"? For the last decades, most societies have been learning how to reintegrate those who for many years were cast as outsiders and were excluded from our communities: the mentally ill and the physically challenged. Thirty years ago, my aunt was banished to a remote island because she was not considered 'normal'. Today she has been diagnosed as autistic! We live in a society which still has problems integrating people with disabilities. It still has a problem accepting; it still looks at handicapped people as if they are bad and unwanted. Resources are more plentiful but still scarce, schools are more accommodating but not as available as they are to the disabled child's typically functioning peers. Caregivers are dedicated where available, yet the low paying wages in the field of social work provide little motivation factor to fill the number of positions required. Take for example, the little things we take for granted such as walkways and doors. For the physically challenged, there are pitifully few ramps or safe pavements! With the recent explosion of autism, ADHD, Tourettes, and other neurological disorders, the need for specialized care must respond to the demand of both children and parents who act as their primary caregivers. The society must understand these are not simply "difficult" or "mentally handicapped" children, but children in need of specialized care with an entirely different makeup than their typically functioning classmates. Every child should have access to such care, regardless of their geographic location, or economic position. Research shows that the first five years of a child's life are absolutely critical for proper development, and even more so in the case of the neurologically disordered. Without serious intervention, these children will not have the opportunity to live useful, productive lives. Instead they will end up in institutions and locked away in homes for the rest of their lives. Being mentally challenged does not mean they are stupid or crazy. Nowadays, people use words like "retarded" to mean that something is dumb. This is not how it should be used. Being mentally challenged just means you have a different way of learning. Disabled people are very aware of what goes on around them. They know when others stare at them, and it makes them uncomfortable, like it would make you uncomfortable if you were stared at. They know when they are pitied, and that hurts, because no one wants pity just because they are different. However, they also know when others accept them for who they are and take the time to be their friend, and that gives them a wonderful feeling. Special needs people did not chose their situation in society and they cannot do anything to change it. In many ways, they are just like everyone else. They too, long to be loved and accepted, and they just want to have some friends. They are humans just like us, and they need to be included in our worlds and in our lives. They too, have something to add to society. And they too, have a purpose for life. We just need to give them a chance. For if we seek difference in others, it is really us who are the real retarded! [*Iko is a psychologist working with the Narcotics Control Board (NCB). If you have any questions or concerns about drug abuse and related social or interpersonal issues, please email her at: fi4@waikato.ac.nz]