Workplace romance: an asset or a liability?

SELF-HELP by Fathmath Ibrahim (Iko*) Romance is as much a part of office life as black coffee and baiy parcels! More people meet their partners at work than anywhere else; after all, you spend at least 40 hours a week there, with individuals of similar backgrounds and interests. However, is office romance an asset or a liability? Here are the pros and cons: PROS: - One of the positive aspects is time efficiency. Why look around for potential dates when you have an office full of men and women? - Since you spend so many hours together at work, you already have an idea of what they are like. Plus you're never in lack of what to talk about. CONS: - Office romances also have their drawbacks. For example, no matter how well the relationship is going, the fact that couples are in constant contact with each other, day and night, may cause friction. Everyone needs "time alone" to pursue hobbies or hang out with friends and the lack thereof may cause relationships to self-destruct. - Office romances may interfere with individuals' abilities to perform their professional duties. - Jealousy is another negative issue. Because you must usually keep office relationships a secret, other employees may flirt with your partner or vice versa. In some instances, you may become jealous over your partner's progress at work while you're left behind. OFFICE ROMANCE: MAKING IT WORK Before beginning a relationship, consider its potential outcomes. If things don't work out, will things become awkward? Prepare yourself for the unwanted situations that might follow. Here are some dos and don'ts of workplace romances: - Make sure work is getting done. If your romance is affecting your work, you may either be asked to end your relationship or find another job. - You should not try to have romances here and there with different office workers. - Try to avoid having relationships with colleagues who are in a higher or lower position than you. - No 'public display of affection' at work. - Never bring quarrels to work. Settle or deal with it after work hours. - You should already agree on how both of you could handle a potential breakup. When Cupid's arrow pierces cubicle walls, the integrity of careers and private lives can be punctured as well. With people spending more and more time at work, love and paychecks are inseparable. One of the important rules of successful romances at the office is to figure out what's most important with this potential relationship: life without this person or the tricky problem of having Mr. or Ms. Right working in the same company. You need a good feeling that this romance will last, especially with the potential pitfalls that could lie ahead. So, it is really how you take it -- an asset or a liability! [*Iko is a psychologist working with the Narcotics Control Board (NCB). If you have any questions or concerns about drug abuse and related social or interpersonal issues, please email her at: fi4@waikato.ac.nz]